We’re now going to get even more serious with our voiceover script analysis. Last week I showed you original copy, followed by that copy featuring underlined points on each line, highlighting where the emphasis should be and thus making you sound more connected to your message. Nothing sounds more disconnected than a flat read. Underlining helps eliminate that. Despite the painfully elementary last line, “Drive one.” I have chosen this Ford Taurus spot to work with, as it is chock full of places to dissect:
There are engines and then there’s the twin turbo-charging, 365
horse power generating, eco-boost engine in the all new Ford Taurus
Show that has the thirst of a V6 with the thrust of a V8.
We speak car. We speak innovation.
Introducing the all-new Taurus Show from Ford. Drive one.
OK, first line. Let’s start with the missing comma after the first three words. You need that slight separation to make sense out of the fact that they’re making a connection between one kind of engine, and another. So, yeah, sometimes you must play editor. Make sure you have a really strong feeling about it, and otherwise, leave it alone. So, now you have a mental comma after “There are engines”. Stress the word “engines” to make it clear this is the subject matter. The pause/comma will reinforce that. So now, what kind of engine are you really trying to share info about? Twin turbo-charging, 365 horsepower generating, eco-boost….Underline those words that make THIS engine shine. Do not underline “engine” after that. You were just on topic about engines so no need to stress that idea. Now, the product doesn’t always necessarily get a strong punch like you’d think, but in this case it works. It’s the owner of this fabulous engine. Lastly in this sentence (are you out of breath yet??!!) is the emphasis on thirst/v6 and thrust/v8. It’s last two special selling points. After that you have two lines that share the same word: speak. You almost always emphasize the words around a repeated word that signify a distinction, as opposed to emphasizing the repeated word. That would be overkill. The word “speak” emphasizes itself by the nature of its own repetition. So what’s the focus on? “car” and “innovation” obviously. The two things they “speak” of expertly. I’m going to skip the last line(s) because I’m getting a little cringe-y. Behold your new script:
There are engines, and then there’s the twin turbocharging, 365
horsepower generating, eco-boost engine in the all new Ford Taurus
Show that has the thirst of a V6 with the thrust of a V8.
We speak car. We speak innovation.
Introducing the all-new Taurus Show from Ford. Drive one.